Pope Francis Declares War On Christmas
Another year, another exhibit of the supposedly (but is he, really?) Catholic Pope Francis forgetting the reason for the season: a plastic Jewish family and snowflakes on your coffee cups. In what has...
View ArticlePope Francis Drops Dope New Record On Black Friday, Like A Common Adele
Know that thing when you are sporting around in your new Lexus, gettin’ in a little “Dad Time” while you take your privileged white children to soccer practice by forcing them to listen to Rush? (The...
View ArticleRemember, Liberals: Ted Cruz And Dead Breitbart Are The Reason For The Season
Hooray, that dumb holiday where we eat 300 pounds of food and say we’re “thankful” for “things” is over, and now we can go back to doing hot, wet War On Christmassing to each other, like we liberals...
View Article2015: The Year Gay Became Mandatory And All The Christians Got Holocausted
If you are a filthy homosexual, 2015 was your year. If you are Kim Davis, or somebody like her, you are not reading this, because you have been martyred for your Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs, so...
View ArticlePresident Obama ‘Bout To Run Victory Laps On Your Face! Your State Of The...
Oh gosh, everyone, get ready to shed a single tear down your face, for tonight (Tuesday), Barack Obama will do the State Of The Kenyan Muslim Gay Usurper Union Address for the very last time! Oh no, we...
View ArticleDuggar BFF Bill Gothard Sorry For Doing Rapey Sex To All Those Ladies, On...
Last week, we told you that, in the shock of the century, creepy rightwinger homeschooling guru Bill Gothard, the man tasked with teaching young sibling diddlewanker Josh Duggar how to keep his hands...
View ArticleDonald Trump Fires Pope For Being Bad At Jesus
Holy shots fired! Even New Pope Frank has some unchristian things to say about a certain candidate whose hat he definitely isn’t wearing on his blessed head anytime soon: “A person who thinks only...
View ArticleJeb Bush Tells Mean Pope To Leave His Favorite Teddy Bear Trump Alone
Jeb Bush is not dangling on the edge while fondling his gun that says JEB BUSH on it, contrary to certain vicious internet rumors he started, but he is definitely suffering from Stockholm syndrome. In...
View ArticleSt. Louis Archbishop Pretty Certain Girl Scouts Are Tools Of The Devil
Does the Catholic Church as an institution give you whiplash? Us also too! Just in the last 48 hours, we saw Pope Francis mention that oh hey, it would be really cool if no government on God’s green...
View ArticleMarco Rubio Soars To Triumphant Not Last Place In Nevada, Donald Trump Does...
Tuesday was an exciting night for Donald Trump, who stomped all over his Republican competitors in the Nevada caucuses with his patented gold-plated shit-kickers. He won approximately 5017 percent of...
View ArticleIRS Comes For Donald Trump Because Of How Much He Loves Jesus
In an exciting plot twist, to which we give a very enthusiastic three thumbs up, Republicans want to peek at Donald Trump’s tax returns. And Mitt Romney — MITT ROMNEY!!! — started it! Now all the...
View ArticlePope Francis Fixin’ To Quit-Fire Archbishop Who Crammed Kim Davis Down His...
It was the best day ever for gay-hatin’ Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis. She bedazzled her finest lady jumper and went to Washington, where a super-nice dirty Catholic named Archbishop Carlo Maria...
View ArticlePope Foot Fetish Can’t Stop Washing Dirty Muslim Feets
It’s Holy Week! Easter’s coming, the chocolate bunnies are doing fertility to each other’s bunny-ginas, the Christs are ’bout to BRB, and Pope Nice-Nice AKA Francis is hunkered over washing up some...
View ArticleWhat Stupid Gaffes Are We Accusing Hillary Clinton And Bernie Sanders Of Today?
HOLD THE PRESSES. Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders did two stupid things that actually are not stupid at all and everybody needs to shut the fuck up cuz this shit is stupid. First, Bernie Sanders was...
View ArticleLying GOP Liar Brags About How Anti-Tim-Kaine Ad Evokes Willie Horton, Then...
Rarely is the question asked: Is our GOP advertisements learning?
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Newt Gingrich’s Third Wife Might Make A Great Ambassador To The Vatican! Your...
Callista Gingrich and His Holiness Pope Babar IV In keeping with his amazing talent for finding the best people for the job, Donald Trump is apparently considering Callista Gingrich for the post of...
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Trump Caught Yanking The Bishop Of Rome. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 24, 2017
Imagine the “Curb Your Enthusiasm” theme. Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today. In his continuing quest to insult every major religion on the planet, Donald...
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Donald Trump, Pope Francis HAAAATE You
Look at the Pope's face when he looks at Trump. pic.twitter.com/0wvBVesUdP — Yashar (@yashar) May 24, 2017 So Donald Trump met with the Pope o’ Rome at the Vatican, and both men managed to remain...
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Former Mexican President Vicente Fox Can’t Stop Trolling Dumb Donald Trump
he trollin he hatin Today, May 24, 2017, we have been LOL-ing about Donald Trump’s big fun meeting with Pope Nice-Nice, who literally hates Trump so much you could see the hatred oozing through his...
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Trump Upstages Harvey In Texas. Wonkagenda for Wed., Aug. 30, 2017
Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the more important things we may be talking about today that have nothing to do with what Melon Trump was/wasn’t wearing. Tropical Storm Harvey has made landfall...
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